6 Jan 2012


So we have just got rid of the X factor and now the sheep have something new to watch to stop them from rioting in the streets again. Yes its that time of year when TV writers cant be arsed to write anything so they put a few borderline celebs in a house full of cameras and hope for the worst and the general public love every minute of it.

Every time they do a celeb one its always wanky people like X factor rejects and people who have been dropped from Eastenders for doing to much cocaine. If I had the money and had some kind of power to bring in a line up for the show here would be mine.

Mr T
Everyones favorite muscle bound, gold wearing, mowhawk sporting pittier of fools would be top of the list. He takes no shit kinda like sand paper bog roll and I think he would kick a lot of ass. Just imagine the diary room rants "these suckas better no that I aint playin no game or getting no plane. This weeks task aint done I'm gunna whoop some ass!" Yeah Mr T goes in.

Lindsay Lohan
If all crackheads were as fit as Lohan I think the drug would get declassed. This border line bimbo who has almost seen as much jail time as Mike Tyson is an obvious entry. Just so the nation can watch her have a break down on live TV and self harm in the jacuzzi. Hopefully theres a chance she might get her tits out as well!

Charles Manson
Everyones favorite cult leading hippie serial killer gets released to serve the community by working a Big Brother show for channel 5. If you have ever seen an interview with this young man you will notice he is somewhat off his rocker. If the public embraced and voted for that twat with tourrettes then they will adore Charlie. Plus theres a big chance he might start a cult.. or kill someone... or both either way it will pull in ratings and thats all that matters today in TV. Yes Rebbecca Loos can toss off a pig, Jordan can eat some monkeys bollocks or we can film pikeys getting married. It may be shit television scraping the barrels of hell it self but think of the fucking ratings. Thats all that matters!

Megan Fox
Why? Because she's fit and there's a jacuzzi! Who needs any more reasons!

The Iron Sheik
Everyones favorite 80's wrestling bad guy. He loves weed, cocaine, beer and hates jews. He threatens to anally rape people and make them humble. This guy is a much needed asset as not only does he talk the talk but he will slap you with flip flops if you fuck around. Search him up on youtube the guy is a legend!
Mila Kunis
Same reasons as Megan Fox.
Ozzy Osbourne
The ultimate wildman of metal Ozzy is an obvious choice for a housemate. Not only is he crazy and funny as fuck but hes a nice bloke to top it off. Top favorite for winner!

Zombie Jade Goody
Just when you thought it was safe to tune into the television she's back! The most annoying, uneducated, foul, racist and most unbearable person to ever grace a TV screen has returned. After one of the chemical barrels which stored all of the manky DNA from Jeremy Kyles lie detector test was accidently disposed of near Jade Goody's burial ground she was reanimated and has now returned to annoy us until we ring up the premium rate hotline to vote her out.