3 Jan 2012


Happy new year and all that jazz... now thats out of the way now onto me having a moan. The Dead Rising games are on my top list of favorite Xbox 360 games. They are great games with a brilliant story where you want to see what happens next. The action is amazing and there is nothing I find more fun than a game where you can kill zombies with everything you can get your hands on (not to mention in a shopping mall like Dawn of the Dead) from lawn mowers, chainsaws, swords, guns, boomerangs, sledge hammers, guitars and anything else lying around. It also has a decent leveling up system and great replay value. 

However with the highs come the lows and Dead Rising has so many "I want to snap this fucking disc and kick my TV in" kind of lows. All in all the good does outweigh the bad but its the bad which puts the Dead Rising games in a spot where the game gets the mixed reviews and the split crowd of people who love the game (me) and the rest who fucking hate it and only played for 20 minutes before dying and taking it back.

Here are some of the things that really fucking annoy me in this game

Now I am not one to moan about a game being a challenge but the boss battles on Dead Rising are fucking ridiculous and unless you go online every five minutes to find out how to beat these bosses you are gunna wind up dead... a lot. For example the first boss battle happens when Carlito (who I am going to mug off in a short while) has a gun fight with Frank and Brad. 

You have a gun you have to shoot him whats the big deal? well the big deal is that guns are fucking useless against bosses on these games. 

Each gun shot takes away a millimeter of a bosses health and unless you go on online and find out on a forum that there is a special mini chainsaw you can unlock which can kill bosses in mere seconds noob style then you're going to be dying all the time and starting again. Yeah its cool that you can cut corners and finish a boss scene off in seconds but should it really have to come to that? Boss battles are designed to be challenging but they should also be fun. 

Kinda like the Metal Gear Solid games epic boss matches yeah they were challenging but if you stuck to the game plan Solid Snake could be able to take out a giant robot and you could enjoy making it happen. 

Dead Rising bosses are cheap as fuck! They have perfect aim from where ever they are, if they knock you down even with full health there is a big chance you wont get up as they batter you when down and their life meter just seems to never drop. Unless you use the mini chainsaw all the time everything is useless! 

Another thing what I dont get is why their pain threshold and life meter is so fucking high? How comes some bloke who works in a super market can take 30 gun shots TO THE FACE? Thats one thing that really fucking annoys me about the game. 

The final boss battle is the biggest joke of them all when you have to have hand to hand combat against military grunt. Now the whole way through the game your character has unlocked all these amazing strikes and wrestling moves so now is the time for them to really shine. Well if you try that you will die! what you have to do is keep button bashing the left analog stick and the X button in order to do a silly move where Frank has his arms out stretched and spins round and this is the ONLY way to damage to your opponent. How fucking lame is that imagine if at the end of a Rocky movie the only way he can win is by spinning round and round in circles! It would suck (maybe not as much as Rocky V) but it would absolutely suck and this boss battle is fucking dumb.

Out of the things that annoy me the most its Otis and his annoying radio calls. I think the game developers must have watched Die Hard the night before making this and decided what the game really needed was a black guy for Frank to talk to on the radio. 

If Otis calls you you have to put everything on hold (even a boss fight) so he can tell you some ones been spotted on the monitor eating a mars bar near wonderland plaza and that you should go check it out. 

When holding the radio the you are still vulnerable to enemy attacks  and these radio interruptions can go on for ages and there is no skipping them. If you do skip them he calls you back and tells you off for being rude! I am sorry but if I am having a fight with a pack zombies and you interrupt I think you will be the one who is rude dickface! 

I cannot count the amount of times I have been devoured by a horde of zombies just because Otis needed to tell me what part of the shopping centre I was in. "Frank you are in the supermarket" well there's shelves, trolleys, tills and a big sign saying super fucking market! No shit Otis you tool!

Carlito is the main bad guy of the game and an absolute cock to top it off. If you play the game properly without cutting corners using the mini chainsaw you will shoot this prick at least a thousand times only for him to turn up ten minutes later for another go. 

A stereo typical fictional hispanic character who starts the zombie invasion.. oh yeah he is a terrorist as well. This character annoys me so much every time I see him or hear his voice I see the red mist. 

Even more annoying is the fact that after fighting him so many times once you finally beat him you have to go rescue him from a really hard boss. Imagine if Antonio Banderas had Aids, bad dress sense and could take a thousand bullets to kill... you have Carlito.

This is the one game glitch that made me so fucking mad.. you wouldn't believe how mad I was.. smashed an Xbox controller. 

The convicts turn up early on in the game and drive around the outside park of the mall in a truck with a machine gun attached.  They run you over and shoot you but thats not the main reason I hate them. 

The real reason was when I first got the game I was trying to get a group of survivors back to the safe house for the big points bonus to level up and I bumped into these guys. Now on this game getting survivors to do anything you want them to is pure hell (but I well get to that bit later) and these guys mowed them down and killed all of them making all my hard work worthless.

So after 10 minutes or so I managed to kill them all and got their big fucking gun and carried on with the game. The next night I had even more survivors and had not saved in a while because I was on a roll kicking ass so I decided to take my rescue party across the park as the convicts had gone... THE FUCKING GAME RESPAWNED THEM KILLING ALL OF US MAKING ME LOSE 4 HOURS OF GAMING I WILL NEVER GET BACK! 

I was so mad I smashed the controller to pieces on the floor in rage shouting and swearing the lot. So if you plan on playing this game save often as this is not just a one off it will always happen. 

The feeling I get when I rescue survivors in Dead Rising is a really good one kinda like working with people with learning difficulties because the survivors in this game are complete spastics. Getting them to do a simple act like follow you to a fucking door is such a challenge. It would be easier to throw a gold fish out of its bowl and get it to flap towards you... in a room full of zombies. 

In fact that was the best way to describe the whole caper. You get well rewarded in experience points for getting them so it is worth it even if they all die in the end anyway... whoops

In closing I would like to say that I still love Dead Rising it really is an amazing game. The only problems are the ones I mentioned above and once you get past them its a blast, I compare this game to being on a cruise ship full of intolerable people! Yeah they annoy the hell out of you but if you just ignore them and do the stuff you came here to do in the first place you should have a pleasant time. 

At the end of the game you unlock unlimited mode where you have to survive in the mall for as long as you can and you have to kill the survivors. I love playing this mode it really is the best. Especially when you get to crack Otis's skull open!