17 May 2012


When ever a great toy line is released there will always be dodgy Mexican and Chinese companies that will make knock off versions of them. It is kind of like piracy in the form of toys. To avoid any legal issues these companies change the spelling of their toys and do all sorts of other customizations which more often than not, end up in disaster. Some times the toys them selves are great and you would not know the difference but in most cases these products are poorly made to the point where hilarity will always be prevail. The funniest thing is that these toys were made by non English speaking countries so most of the time they will be named in broken English. Even though these toys were fakes they are highly collectable and I have seen some go for fortunes. Here are some examples of some classic bootleg toys.


This is a great bootleg toy of Robocop except for one thing.. the packaging. They could have called this toy "Robot Cop" or "Cyborg Cop" but fucking "Robert Cop" is probably the worst thing that anyone could suggest. When I was a kid I spent a lot of my childhood abroad and bootleg toys were available everywhere. I picked up my Robert Cop in Gozo which is one of the smallest islands in the universe.


Cashing in on the Transformers wave that swept the planet during the 1980's and also the fact that everyones favorite train will always be over, some weird Japanese company made this classic knock off. I named this one Op"Thomas" Prime and I don't know what the original toy was called. If you think that this cross over hybrid is bad then the next one will amaze you even more.


Ever wondered what would happen if you mixed Jesus and God together? Well this is the shocking result! A crucifix wielding robot from Japan. I have no idea what so ever what God (if that is his real name) or Jesus have to do with anything but it works as far as I am concerned. I wonder who would win in a fight between God Jesus and Robert Cop 2? I don't know if God Jesus is a bad guy or a good guy as he looks quite menacing. Also who would his enemies be? A bloke dressed as a scientist called the Atheist? Hang on one minute I have the answer!


Now these are blokes in suits with the heads and legs of Transformers. Corporate greed mixed with cyborg technology makes these figures the ultimate bad guys. I blame them for JFK and September the 11th. These figures are so bad that they are almost modern art.


The Mr T boxing puppet was a classic. With Mr T being the most famous guy on the planet in the 80's he also became the target of many bootleg toy makers. There were many of these puppets released of all sorts of different characters and celebs but the Mr T one is the most remembered. The puppet had levers inside which when pressed would make the puppet throw some punches. This was an amazing bootleg toy but shame about the dodgy Islamic robe..


This is a hideous bootleg A-Team van from the 80's. If you couldn't afford a real A-Team van then I guess this would have been your only option. There's not much I can say about this really, its just a shit van with some stickers on it.


I am not sure if this is a Mr T bootleg figure or a Mr T tampax device? Either way it is proper rubbish. Maybe the string is meant to be a pony tail like that bloke in Kickboxer had? Or it is a Christmas tree decoration.? It looks like he has a glass eye as well. I piity the fools who can't make decent Mr T knock offs.


This is a god awful Nintendo Game Boy rip off. Yet again the wells of originality and creativity run very shallow when it comes to naming this product. God awful thing that made any long car journey and plane ride ten times worse.


This is a really bad Incredible Hulk knock off but as a kid I would have been happy with this. I must say he is rocking a pretty badass afro.

I actually like this bootleg Hulk figure. It looks like Lou Ferringo but also looks like zombie on steroids. Actually the more I look at this figure the more it scares me. Kinda has the same vibe of a cursed painting.


This is a classic example of a shitty bootleg He Man toy. With the popularity of the Masters of the Universe line a few decades back He Man bootlegs swarmed like a plague of Locusts. Some of them were cool and were welcome additions to your home made Eternia. Others were welcomed to being set on fire and other means of torture.


This is a knock off Woody from Toy Story. You can tell by the sadness of this Toys eyes how he hates being a bootleg toy that has been frozen forever in a suggestible pose. Bend over a Barbie in front of this toy to see what I mean. He should be casted for the next Toy Story movie.


Just like Robert Cop 2 Nightmare Feddy is a brilliant knock off apart from the terrible naming on the package. What the fuck is a Feddy?? 


Here is another knock off Freddy figure. This came from a line of toys that also had a Dracula, Frankenstien and another weird monster. I painted the white stripes on my one green because it really bothered me! After that it didn't look to bad.


These are not as epic as the Thomas the Tank bootleg I mentioned earlier. These knock offs that have used the exact moulds of the real Thomas the Tank Engine toys and just re-sprayed them in horrible greens and brighter colors. Insert Thomas the Wank engine joke here..


Finally we come to the Super Hero section of the bootleg toys. Super heroes are the most targeted group when it comes to bootlegging exploitation. Most of the super hero toys I owned as a kid were bootleg copies. Sometimes they make decent ones but like usual 90% of them are dog shit rubbish! Look at the above picture for an example. Not only is Supermans costume the wrong colors but his eyes are crossed as well. The "S" on his chest must clearly stand for "Spaz" in this case.


This 6 pack of decent figures also shares the curse of Robert Cop with the broken English packaging. Sense of Right? Actually its growing on me. I love how the yellow Ranger is thrown in the mix also.


Silver bat is Batgirl riding a horse. It is battery operated so God knows what this thing does when powered up. More than likely kicks its legs and plays the theme song from Spider Man!


Super Bat is a radio controlled skateboard with Batman riding it. If you cant afford a Tony Hawks game then I guess this could come in handy. 


This is a decent Superman figure but "Specialman" is probably the least flattering name of the lot. 

I am not going to even say anything about this one.