5 Feb 2013


So this week I found out that the house used for the Nightmare on Elm Street movies has gone up for sale. I would buy this house myself but I am short of the 2 million dollars its going for. Being the weird nosey little fucker I am I managed to get hold of the house brochure and today we will go inside one of the most infamous houses in horror movie history.

From the outside the house still looks the same but this is a new front door by the looks of things, The old front door had a little window in which Freddy Krueger ripped Nancy's mother through at the end of the first movie.

OK so now we venture inside and we are in the main hallway. The real horror of this, is the fact that this house has been transformed into one of them modern arty houses. You can tell by the green desk that this house is owned by one of them graphic designers who can turn your whole being into a logo and charge thousands for it. This is very upsetting for me as I feel this house should be a listed building minus silly fucking round arch walls. Its like if you went to the house from Resident Evil or Draculas Castle only to find Apple Macs and shit Banksy canvas's everywhere!

So this is the lounge area and it is hard to think this room once had an exploding canary flying about and booby traps set to catch out Freddy in the first movie. Each to their own but I really don't like the decor of this house. Not one bit. I am not saying there should be skeletons everywhere and little girls singing "1 2 Freddy's coming for you" outside, but this is really disappointing for a horror movie fan like myself. At least when I visited the Big Breakfast house they still had some of the shows gimmicks still lying around. Anyone who buys this house and has never seen the movies is a dick head end of! Maybe I am just very jealous of anyone who buys this home apart from Freddy Krueger or one of his future victims.

So now we enter the kitchen which surprise surprise has even more stupid orange furniture. I bet they call this collection the "citrus modern fusion" or some other bollocks. I get more and more disappointed with each room I see. Where's the fucking downstairs boiler room?????

So here's the famous staircase in which the steps turned into gungy shit like PVA glue when Nancy tried running up them to escape Freddy. Yet again this room has fallen victim to all this modern shit and nothing shouts poser more than an expensive canvas print of Sid Vicious out of the Sex Pistols.

So this is a bedroom I am not sure if it is the master bedroom or Nancy and Jesse's old room. I was about to say at least this room has no orange shit and then I clocked the desk!

So this is the bathroom and its a lot bigger and different to the set they used for the movie. It would be awesome to have a Freddy glove that pops out from time to time.

So this is a walk in wardrobe with a Audrey Hepburn rug. What grabs me is the fact that the people who own this house have a lot of money yet they still decorate their home with shitty iconic stock art which you can pick up at any Matalan or TK Max store for 20 quid. Get some taste for fucks sake!

The house a nice swimming pool at the back but from the back the house looks really weird. Kinda like the deformed half brother of the house from the Amityville Horror. I love the pool party in the second movie when Freddy turns up and fucks everyone up and makes the hot dogs explode!

So finally I take you to the downstairs basement where Freddy's glove used to be housed in a rusty old burner thing. Now its a utility room which thankfully has no orange shit. Well that's pretty much it if you have 2 million and you fancy buying a house from a horror movie and having weirdo's on your front lawn everyday taking pictures then this is the one for you.