ARTICLE BY KRISTIAN RODRIGUEZ
Here at Lost Entertainment we fucking love bootleg and real action figures. Anything made out of plastic depicting the things we love will always be a winner. In the past we have reviewed bootlegged and real toys from around the world, and today we will be mixing it up a bit by looking at both real and bootlegged items.
So let the madness begin!
WONDERBREAD SAVAGE HE-MAN
This guy maybe one of the most controversial action figures of all time. Not in a bad way, but because his origin is simply unknown. The story goes, that this figure was an ultra rare mail away from Wonderbread in the 1980's. The problem is that no one can confirm this and there is no evidence to say so. This however doesn't stop collectors buying and selling these for ridiculous amounts of money and sometimes in 4 figure sums. I actually think the savage He-Man looks better than the real ginger haired version and he looks fucking bad ass to top it off. So wether Wonderbread He-Man is real or a bootleg will always be an unsolved mystery like the Jack the Ripper murders of 1888 and who was behind GTV in WWE in 1999.
Now this is a real piece of merchandise which was sold in toy shops around the time of the movie's release. How no one clocked that E.T'S finger looks like a big dildo is beyond me. The fact it has batteries and lights up makes it all the more amusing.
VICKY AND HER VIBE
I recently stumbled upon a boxed version of this toy when I was hanging out with Sonic Mass at their rehearsal studio. This is a wind up toy of a naked woman who gives her self a good thudding with a mini version of E.T's finger. Vicky and her vibe are mainly sold in sex shops and the odd pokey off license.
Worzel Gummidge was a British TV show from the 1970's about a scarecrow who fell in love with a mannequin called Aunt Sally. The TV show had a great shelf life and was replayed up until the late 1980's. I always thought the whole thing was rather traumatizing to watch as a young child, as Worzel would get decapitated at least 3 times an episode. These toys are mega obscure and are worth money but finding someone who even remembers this show or even harder finding a fan of this show who collects expensive toyd could be a very hard task indeed.
The line of figures released by Jakks in 2006 are highly collectible and really fucking cool. However in this line maybe the worst action figure (if you can call it that) ever made! The slab of hanging meat which Rocky punches during the training for the first fight with Apollo Creed, made it as an action figure. When I see shit like this it always makes me think a kid might have got this as a stocking filler or even worse a main present at Christmas. I honestly think shit toys like this should be banned and classed as contraband. I really have a high level of contempt against crap toys. This makes E'T,s finger look like Castle Greyskull.
BREAST MILK BABY
Being a boy I have always thought girls toys were mega weird. Why anyone would want to have pretend tea parties, pretend babies that shit and piss and even toy dogs that do the same also is beyond me. Now I bring you the Breast Milk baby! I have no fucking idea how this works or more importantly why it was even released but it's 100% real. By the time girls get breasts they stop playing with dolls and end up having real babies of their own. Maybe they had to get their mothers or some other random woman to feed these weird fuckers.
YOU CAN SHAVE YOUR BABY
This is another weird baby toy from Japan. This one is a ginger baby who for some reason has hit puberty and needs to be shaved. I don't know if the hair grows back or not but I am guessing it doesn't otherwise this toy may have found the answer for baldness.
This action figure is a pure boss and the fact he is God Almighty makes that statement even more credible. I recently reviewed all the action figures of Jesus Christ at Easter (click here to read) and know of a few other bible related toys but this one is the best I have seen so far. I want to book him for the next Super Secret Wars so I am on the look out for this.
ROWDY RODDY PIPER GI JOE
The Roddy Piper GI Joe is a really cool action figure which was released in recent times. As Sgt Slaughter needed a heel to go against Hasbro put Piper in the COBRA unit. Although this figure is mega awesome the only downside is the fact its ridiculously rare and valuable. I have never seen one go for less than £400!
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