However I am a grown up now and last year I received 4 bottles of the same aftershave and 60 quids worth of WH Smith vouchers as my mum told the whole family to get me the same thing. So to put it bluntly Christmas sucks now present wise,
Back when I was a kid though Santa always came through. The Santa Claus letter (or visit) was the perfect opportunity to ask for over the top shit without being clipped round the ear for being greedy.
I have only enjoyed a handful of Christmases as an adult and it is something that makes me sad as I love this time of year and the build up. Christmas has kinda become like Wrestlemania has the past few years.. a fucking let down.
I think the main reason it never lives up to it is due to the fact that I no longer receive toys and other childish stuff which is well.. fun. Don't get me wrong I am not ungrateful for receiving the nice clothes and multiple bottles of the same aftershave but its just not the same as opening a Super Nintendo or a Castle Greyskull.
In the past I have talked in great detail about some of the coolest presents I have ever been given at Christmas. Today I will be showing you the stuff on which upon opening would make me love Christmas again like I did back in the day. Some of it is stuff I generally want and most of it is stuff that is ridiculous beyond any normal persons price range.. unless a certain bearded man in the North Pole reads a shitty blog called Lost Entertainment.
ITEM 1: TERMINATOR 2 PINBALL MACHINE
I don't know why but ever since I saw this pinball table in Roller Bowl in Collier Row in 1991 at a friends birthday party I have wanted it. Even 23 years on I am still in love with it and I don't think until the day I get it (and get bored with it) I will ever be over it. Played it a few times around the globe and love the spinning Terminator skull the most. I don't even have the room for this but I am sure I will one day.
ITEM 2: PLAYSTATION 4 WITH GTA V
I am sure that this is on a lot of Christmas lists this year. Although I have listed this item it's not something I want that urgently. My Xbox 360 is still in fine working order and there are not that many great titles out yet on the next gen consoles that you can't already get on the last gen. Out of the battle between this and the Xbox One, the PS4 is a much wiser choice and something I will be purchasing when it comes down in price. Unless Santa is feeling generous..
ITEM 3: WWE JAKKS WRESTLEMANIA 2 DELUXE RING WITH BLUE STEEL CAGE
This WWE wrestling ring is a few years old now but it is the greatest toy wrestling ring ever created. It has been scaled to the real size of a WWE ring and has a real canvas, changeable ring aprons, real turnbuckles and the super awesome old school blue steel cage from back in the day. This toy was a fortune when it was released a few years back and I dread to think its value now. I sold all my wrestling figures a while back so fuck knows why I want this but it's just plain awesome.
ITEM 4: A 3D PRINTER
The 3d printer is one of the coolest inventions ever and it is only a matter of time before they are introduced into our homes at an affordable price. For now only rich people and big companies have them. I can't wait to get one so I can print out loads of prostitutes and make money from their immoral earnings.
ITEM 5: WEED VAPORIZER
So I tried a vaporizer the other week and it was pretty kick ass. I have seen these many times on my adventures in Amsterdam but I was reluctant to try for some reason. Actually the reason was most of the people who worked in the coffee shops were rude douche bags and I was really fucking high and not in the mood to ask for stuff. Anyway these are really cool inventions which vaporize weed into a clear bag for you to breathe with no smoke which is just better all round.
ITEM 6: A SHIT TON OF WEED
I need this to put in my vaporizer and to smoke in general.. it is Christmas and if you expect me to get through all that food than I am going to need some of this to get me through the whole ordeal. Plus I just like getting high.
ITEM 7: A TRIUMPH CRUISER
One of my mates has this bike and I had a little go on it and enjoyed my self so yeah give me one of these Santa. If you get me this then I will forgive you for not getting me that bike I asked for when I was 7!
ITEM 8: HOT TUB
A few months after Christmas the weather gets a lot warmer and this seems to happen every year. This is why I need a fucking hot tub.. and some bitches!
ITEM 9: REAL IRON MAN SUIT
I know it's a bit far fetched (even for this list) but bear in mind this list is for a bloke who apparently has been alive for over a century and has flying reindeer's.. yeah exactly. Having a real working Iron Man suit would be awesome and I would get mine made up in West Ham colours so I could then go on to blow up all the other grounds I hate in the country starting from the Den in Millwall.
ITEM 10: HAPPINESS
I had to end this one a leveled out one as I am not going to receive any of that crazy shit I have just listed. Apart from the weed part as I do tend to get pretty fucking stoned during the holiday period. If I can have a trouble free Christmas which has semi decent presents and no drama I will be happy with just that I guess.
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